somebody snuck up and got me drunk
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize