I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
