Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
