fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
