wanna go halves on a baby?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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