I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
