you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
