the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
