I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
