if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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