We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
