a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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