Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
