Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
