you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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