You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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