I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
