Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
