sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
