moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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