My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
