Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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