38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
