butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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