You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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