What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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