im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
