it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
