and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
