I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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