3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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