So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
