Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
