I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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