WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
