exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
