Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
