You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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