end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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