Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
