God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
