I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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