How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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