No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
