apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
