OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
