Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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