i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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