Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
