Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
